SURPRISE!!!

On my road of surrender and healing, you have probably noticed in my writings that God has chosen interesting ways to continue to teach me, mold me, and keep me close. He is one MAGNIFICENT BEING! I don't always understand and welcome the hard work, but I definitely recognize it for sure and know that it is ALWAYS for my good.

So, without further ado...it's time to let you in on His most recent gifts to my family...


We are EXPECTING our THIRD baby in mid-September!!! We are SUPER EXCITED and CRAZY NERVOUS at the same time! Jarrett and I had decided way early on in our marriage that we would have 2 children...that was the perfect little picture of a family for us. We thought we knew it all. And I was in control and knew how to prevent another pregnancy. Hmmm....so I thought. And you all know from past posts that I most assuredly struggle with perfectionism and control. God just keeps stripping that away from me layer by layer. And with all that has happened this past year...the sin, the hurt, the forgiveness, the healing, and the ongoing growth and work...I guess the focus was no longer on how to prevent life, but how to EMBRACE LIFE! And WOW, are we being given the gift of LIFE! What a symbol! A symbol of LIFE and of LOVE and SO SO MUCH MORE!

Now, did we take this news initially as joyfully as I just expressed in the sentence above? Eh hem (clearing throat)...Not at all....(guilty sad feeling). I honestly fell apart. WE fell apart. You can go back over the last few weeks and see some of what I was feeling through prior writings. This missing puzzle piece will help make it all make sense now. I was confused with "HOW?" And "WHY?" And "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!??!" We are not ready for this!!! And we stayed there for almost... a WHOLE HOUR! Thank you SWEET JESUS for it only being an hour and not days or weeks! You spoke so quickly, loudly, yet lovingly and soothingly to us. You immediately gave us such a sweet picture of your redemption and love. God, you turned our eyes back to you and held us so tightly. You laid such a blanket of peace over us letting us know it would be okay. Oh precious Lord, your ways are beautiful!

The questions and fears still try and sneak in. The discomforts of pregnancy, the fears of another miscarriage, the financial worries, the possible concerns from others, and more attempt to consume my mind at times. And that's when I need to focus on what the Lord HAS done and continues to do in our life! God sees something so different and vast from what our human eyes could ever focus on with our poor eyesight! I'm so glad He sees ME and LIFE in such an opposite light as I see myself and my future. I am so humbled by your love oh Lord!

Abba Father, I am so grateful for this gift of Brightness you have placed in me. As this little life grows day by day, may I be reminded of how much you love us. Renew in me such joy as I hear each heartbeat, feel each kick, touch each little bump, see every bouncing roll, as "Baby Brightness" grows each day! (yep, we have a new nickname for our little life..."BRIGHTNESS!"...you may remember a song post about that a while back).

Shouting HALLELUJAH!!! FOR HE IS GOOD!!!