2010...It Can't be ERASED...it can be REDEEMED!

I have never wanted to hit the erase button as bad as I do now as I write my last post of the year. I have been missing for quite some time on this blog but have been missing as "Jaime" for too long also. I am not proud of my year and who I had become. It has been a season I wish I could eliminate from NOT ONLY my memory but everyone elses it has effected and will continue to effect.

So much of me wants to cry out to "2011" to bring US ALL a much better year. But, I am not as ignorant as to think that "2010" is at fault. It was MY choices, MY sin, and MY back that turned from the Lord that made "2010" a destructive year...not only to me but to many. And it was MY pride and lack of realization of the depravity of my own heart that made it so easy to fall. "2011," you are just a number and nothing more. My cry is out to my GOD, MY SAVIOR, and MY REDEEMER to hold me close, teach me, walk me through the hard stuff, allow me to suffer, show me the lies I have believed and give me the strength to rebuke and overcome, restore, and rebuild! Jesus don't let me "get by" or run when things aren't easy. Help me to STAND in the midst of pain. I want full healing! I will accept nothing less and will not allow myself to skirt around areas that are difficult. Mold me, make me, place me in uncomfortable situations, reshape me however you desire! I am here. I surrender.

Is there anything to be thankful for this year?

ABSOLUTELY!!! Thank you my sweet and sovereign Lord for your forgiveness. I repent of my wickedness and my selfish desires. Oh God thank you for your unexplainable GRACE and MERCY! Grace and Mercy like I have NEVER EVER KNOWN. I am in awe of what you have given back to me. I am humbled that you would even redeem a sinner like me. I do NOT deserve your goodness. It seems so unfair! I have seen the destruction I have caused and the effect it has had on others and yet you continue to blanket me with your unconditional love. God I choose not to discredit your grace. I choose to accept it and walk REDEEMED in FULL WORSHIP and ADORATION of who you are!

Thank you Jesus for my precious family. Thank you for an INCREDIBLE husband who shows me the love of Jesus. Thank you for giving me such a man of absolute integrity and commitment. Oh how I love that AMAZING MAN! Jesus thank you for my little princesses. My girls are such a joy and their sweet spirits put a smile on my face. I am so blessed with the family you have granted me with.

And what does this year hold for me and for my family?

A year of growing. NO MATTER what comes our way, God you have a purpose. Bring it! Help us not to walk in FEAR but in FAITH!

And this year I want SOMETHING MORE! Please read this blog post below written by my Pastor this past month. This is exactly my desire...

Something More
From my morning readings - Isaiah 29:13-24

And the Lord said:
“Because this people draw near with their mouth
and honor me with their lips,
while their hearts are far from me,
and their fear of me is a commandment taught by men... (vs 13)

Lord, You desire relationship. You've always desired it. That's not something new. It wasn't even something that was ushered in with sending of Your Son. It's always been about relationship.

Lord, I want to give You something more than my voice singing nice worship songs...
Lord, I want to give You something more than a blog...
Lord, I want to give You something more than time reading Your Word...
Lord, I want to give You something more than my prayer requests.
Lord, I want to give You something more than the motions of Sunday worship...
Lord, I want to give You something more than my attempt to do right...

Lord, I want to give You my heart.
I want my life to totally revolve around You.
I want You to be my security and my hope.
I want You to be the reason for my joy and my grieving.
I want You to be my peace and when appropriate my reason for unrest. Lord, I want You to be my love, my passion, and my desire.
Lord, I don't ever want to be described as "this people".
I want to be part of "Your people".

I desire something more than a name, identity, or religion.
I desire a relationship.
I want something more than commandments, principles, and truth.
I desire a relationship.
I want something more than exciting worship services, challenging messages, and a great church.
I desire a relationship.

Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord, O my soul!
I will praise the Lord as long as I live;
I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.
(Psalm 146:1-2)


Jesus, I WANT SOMETHING MORE!!! I am humbled and excited to see what you have in store for me and my family!

All I can say is....

"2011" WATCH OUT!!!